8 Days

Mood: frantic... ish
Thinking about: the concept of fear, and what justifies the emotion

Is fear ever reasonable? I mean, think about it. Most psychiatrists or psychologists tell people to conquer fear, to free themselves from it, so is it ever alright to be afraid? Isn't just a basic human emotion? Why then should we try to overcome it? I know fear is considered normal, but constant fear is considered weak, or thin-skinned. When is it alright to be afraid?
I was hit with a wave of emotion today, it sort of knocked me off balance, and set me into the speed-talking, nervous Danielle trying not to show the confusion taking place in her head. (It never really works very well, I am pretty transparent.) I was fine for most of the day, but then I just started thinking about taking shots in my stomach everynight for a month, and having tubes come out of me, and not being able to touch my toes, and no more dancing around, and a wheelchair... It scared me. All the little things added up and got in my head, making me scared.
When I was talking to Virginia, my friend, today, I almost started crying. That would've been the first time I have cried in front of my friends about the surgery. I held it back, because I wanted to be strong, but then, what is strength in this situation? Is strength knowing when to let your fear be known and be weak for a moment? Is strength bearing the weight of the situation all on your own? Or is that just stupid? Yes, it's stupid, and it's not the case at all. I feel like I have too much put on my plate at the moment, or, as my Pappap would say "Ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag."

"Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself... Always fight until you can't anymore, and then be fought for."-Sex and the City
Oh, pop culture.